Get Your Shit Together

I like white beers, which are ales spiced with coriander and orange peel.  Sunshine is perhaps my favorite all-around beer.  J got me drinking Red Hook ESB.  Sometimes I like Beck’s.  I have no problem drinking PBR. Foster’s is the apple juice of beers, and gives one a great excuse to talk with a bad Australian accent.  About all I don’t like are the super-proofy ales like Arrogant Bastard.  Doesn’t mean I won’t drink it though.

Official pre-show shot of The In & Outers.  I don’t advocate being drunk on stage – no one wants to hear you flub notes because you drank too much and now your fingers are fat, useless sausages – but, it’s hard to look cool bone-sober in a room full of drunk people.  Tequila is fast, effective, sufficiently-ritualized, and will also help you maintain a useful attitude towards the authorities.

How convenient that my favorite bourbon is also cheap and universally available.  Sometimes they have Gentleman Jack, which tastes the same but is much smoother.  Best enjoyed with a single icecube and smugness.

Whiskey Sours are cheap and make all bourbons taste exactly same.  Just don’t get it with a maraschino cherry, or alternately eat the cherry before anyone notices.

Now, I’m not trying to set myself up like some heavy-drinking manly man.  I just want to get drunk enough to talk to girls, and possibly later get drunk enough to yell at passing cars, because damnit I spend all week being smart.  When Saturday rolls around, I want to be an idiot.

How else am I supposed to feel a deep brotherly kinship with a whole bunch of strangers?